The Rembis Report and Other Fascinating Topics - Volume CIX

It is a miracle really, when you think about it. Plants grow in sand and dirt. They get wet, they get sunlight, and they grow. A miracle! Or maybe it is just science. Either way, I really enjoy it. And I am lucky that where I live in Florida seems to have become something of a near-perfect climate. For me anyway.

It is always around 80F. Sometimes a little cooler, sometimes a bit hotter, but we have breezes, and rain, and all in all, it is not too bad. Everything in my garden is thriving.

Not so in a lot of other places. The United States is experiencing the most oppressive heat dome ever recorded. We haven’t been keeping track of weather for too terribly long, but ever since modern instruments were invented to record temperatures, wind speeds, and moisture levels, I hear that we haven’t seen anything like what we are experiencing right now.

Arizona’s hearty saguaro cactus are experiencing heat stroke.

They generally make it through temperatures that nobody else can survive, and if they can’t make it, you better not be out there hiking in that weather. Sadly, some folks failed to heed Mother Nature’s fair warning to keep away and have died. Temperatures across the south-central USA and Mexico have been above 110F for about two weeks now.

Is it global warming, Mike?

It very well could be. I covered a lot of this in my series The Road To The Brink Of Oblivion. But take a look at some current headlines and decide for yourself.

The heat out there is oppressive enough without me harping on it, so I would rather talk about my garden. You may recall the drama of my lubber grasshoppers and our battle for dominion of the gardenia bush. Well, we have reached a truce. There is only one grasshopper left and he may eat whatever he wants. I just hope he does not decide to tear into my garden’s newest addition, the sunflower.

Oh, yes. I have a sunflower. It is not the one that I thought was blooming under the bird feeder. That withered and died on it’s own and I think it was a weed anyway. Meet my sunflower.

She won me over as a sprout and is now over a foot tall, happily standing in her own pot.

I found her when I was moving the trash bin to the curb. When I pulled it away from the bare ground where it sits next to the garage, there she was, a tiny sprout just an inch tall, seeking sunlight. So lonely and out of place. I could not let it just stay there to be covered by the trash bin the next day.

I did not know for sure what it was. I thought it was likely to be a sunflower, but also thought it could have been a watermelon, because so many seeds get tossed around. It might have been another weed. But there was something about it. I could tell that it just wanted to live. So, whatever it would become, I was determined to help it along. I don’t know why. Just because. It felt right.

I dug it up and put it in a little pot in it’s own original soil where it started out and filled it in with sand, put it in my garden in the sun, and gave it water every day. Now, a month or so later, we have a sunflower.

I am happy that the little plant has found a home and I may be able to keep it safe. I was also fascinated by what sprouted on my neighbors lawn. They have an agave plant out there baking in the sun. It looks lonely. Sun is great for agaves and it probably has no concern about whatever neighbors it may or may not have, so I am sure it is okay. But take a look at what I discovered growing out of one of its thorns.

This bizarre little chrysanthemum-type bloom just showed up one day. I took these photos as soon as it appeared. I had never seen anything like it. I posted the photos online, begging for help to identify it. Nobody else had ever seen anything like it either. Botanists replied with puzzlement. The county extension office had no idea what it could be. Had a new species appeared right next door? Was it one of a kind?

The flower remained for a few weeks and got no bigger. In fact, it is still there. I marveled at it and went over to look several times to study it. My neighbor, Abel, came home one day when I was admiring it and he laughed and told me that he was fooled, too. He had also taken pictures with his phone and shown it to all the people he worked with. Then he gave me the news.

It was fake. Plastic. A toy that his little daughter had placed on the end of the thorn because she thought it was pretty. We had a good laugh, but then I wondered what kind of diabolical monster he was raising. A child who could perpetuate such a fraud will surely grow up to become a menace to society. Maybe a congressperson. Or worse, a senator. Maybe even a president. I know, scary, right?

Meanwhile, back in my garden, the grasshopper has not disturbed the sunflower. I had not seen him for about a week until earlier today, but he had disappeared for over a week at a time in the past. I don’t know if he will disappear again or not, but he seems to know me, and will now walk into my hand for examination, before being placed back on the gardenia bush.

I also don’t know if this is the same grasshopper I saw before. They all kind of look alike, but I only see one at a time. A couple months ago, I know it was the same one over and over because he was missing half of his left antennae and his front right foot was gone. Perhaps he lost them in a fight. The missing limbs helped me identify him and gave him character.

The one I have been seeing most recently has all of his appendages and no apparent fear of me. I wondered if this could possibly be the same one, if like octopuses, they can grow back lost limbs. Turns out they can! Young ones can, anyway, older ones, not so much. So, it might be that guy I knew before, or maybe not. Either way, the gardenia bush grows faster than he can eat it.

I have seen him all over the property. In the tangerine tree, by my front door, on the fence in the backyard, by my neighbor’s gardenia bush. He is four inches long. Once, a tiny half inch long lizard ran up to him, saw that crazy monster with six legs, and immediately ran the other way. I don’t know if the grasshopper would have bothered to harm the lizard, but that little guy was not sticking around to find out.

In addition to the desirable flowers in my garden, there are a lot of wildflowers. You might call them weeds, but they attract lots of pollinators. Bees, wasps, hornets, and other little fliers I can’t name. None have ever stung me and I don’t expect them to. Sometimes snakes hide in the deep grass. Birds visit constantly. It is a strong harmonious community which seems to have been brought together by a perfect climate. I don’t want to do anything to disturb it.

Maybe if we leave a lot of the rest of the world alone it will also take care of itself and be fine. But if not, climates will change and humanity will force itself into migration, and the only things to survive will be plastic. As long as temperatures keep rising and becoming unbearably ridiculous, major cities like Phoenix, Las Vegas, and Ciudad Juárez will become obsolete to comfortably live in, and people will move. But where to?

There are a lot of places to go. This article from Time examines the possibilities of how climate migration will play out.

As for my garden, it is certainly not going anywhere. If Florida rains remain steady enough, the sun shines a lot, and gulf breezes keep blowing, everything will be fine here. Other gardens, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with nowhere to go, will not be so lucky.

That’s it for the farm report.

Let me tell you about some fun news of my own. My unpublished novel Eternity’s Grasp has been chosen as a top ten finalist in the suspense category for the 2023 Killer Nashville Claymore Award. It is an honor to be included with the other writers. Thanks to everyone who participated in beta reading. For those who have not read it yet, but would still like to, it is no longer hosted on any website, so please email me to request a PDF copy at [email protected].

Thanks for reading.

If you are new to the Rembis Report and would like to read any of the previous issues, PLEASE CLICK HERE to access the archives. To read it from the beginning, PLEASE GET A COPY of The Rembis Report: An Observation.