The Rembis Report And Other Fascinating Topics - Volume CXLIV

That’s it for now.

I want to thank everyone for sticking around as long as you have. Those relatively new to the Rembis Report may not be sure what I am talking about. If you have been reading this for the last couple years, or even further back, from my first mass email in 2006 and the monthly essays that followed until 2009, you know that it is time to shut the curtain for intermission, once more.

This was the plan all along.

When I restarted the Rembis Report in March 2022, I said I would write a newsletter every week, and I have. Even with a subliminal twinge of doubt, I goaded myself to make a firm commitment, and that tenacity devoured any lack of confidence.

Looking back on this, I don’t have an exact number, but I can honestly say the average report was about 2,500 words, and I produced volumes XXXVI through CXLIV (36-144), plus a couple of addendums, so erring on the side of apathy, I estimate that I wrote around 270,000 words. That’s equivalent to a couple of novels - or one really big one. Even I am amazed that I did that.

You would be.

And that guy, the taskmaster, looking over my shoulder every moment, helping edit and fine tune every piece, what a creep! It will be nice to get away from him for a while. It has been said that the hardest part of writing is _________________ (pick one and fill in the blank: rewriting, spellchecking, running out of coffee, or booze, or finding your muse), but I would say it is finding an audience. The actual writing is the fun and easy part. For me anyway.

But the audience - you are what this is all about. Without you, these are just words lost to the confines of the digital realm. So, thanks again, for reading.

So, what now?

Now, I get on with life (not that I ever left it), and you go do something else that means something to you. I shall proceed with writing something fresh, exciting, and new, and put that energy into a few other projects I started. The Rembis Report is not the only thing I write. In addition to the screenplays and books that I have already penned, there are more in development, and I am thrilled to be plowing ahead with what I hope may promise to be my most successful projects to date.

To my alpha and beta readers, thank you again for volunteering. Your input is invaluable and helped build my work into what it is. I consider my novel, Eternity’s Grasp, to be 100% complete. That is, until another editor comes along and makes me tweak it.

Probably needs it.

Alright, that’s enough out of you!

Eternity’s Grasp garnered a bit of recognition last year as a finalist for the Claymore Award at the Killer Nashville competition. It did not win, but I am confident that this novel is now where it needs to be and I am vigorously seeking representation and publication. I have no plans on releasing it as a self-published edition. If any of you would like to read the current final draft in PDF format, just ask. I am happy to oblige. Having more beta readers only helps.

I am also chipping away at another novel. It is heady and full of stuff that doesn’t belong anywhere else, like in a screenplay or short story, and I suspect that it is halfway finished. As you know, I am long winded, and I do not write particularly fast. I can’t say for sure how finished that novel actually is. We shall see.

On the screenplay side, I still tinker with the ones I think are finished, and the ones that I am completely happy with, are for sale on Sparroww.com. This new up-and-comer to the digital marketplace seeks to create virtual handshakes between writers, producers, and directors. It is just over a month old, and I like what I see here so far. Hopefully, it will bring some collaborations to fruition.

Speaking of collaboration, I have been blessed to join forces with the lovely and talented actress Emmy Perry, who is working alongside me as an executive producer to spearhead my TV show, Low Budget.

I have 10 episodes written and intend to write a total of around 65 with the goal of producing 4 to 5 seasons of television. Those numbers are variable, but with a solid series arc in place, give or take a few episodes, fingers crossed, we plan to have something fun for you to watch in the next year or two.

Low Budget is now my main creative focus. Those of you who have been involved in TV know that production is a long, convoluted, and arduous process. While there are no specific roles to fill at this exact moment, anyone wishing to contact me regarding bringing your talent to the project may do so. I am always open to listening to your ideas.

Now, as requested, let’s open the floor to discussion. You - in the back!

Why does this seem to be all about you?

I thought that was obvious and kind of self explanatory, but that is an excellent question, thanks for asking. Who’s next - you, go ahead!

What is with the Roman numerals?

I just like the way Roman numerals look. I especially like that I am ending now on CXLIV. Using five of the seven letters that represent numbers without duplication within the number itself. I think it looks cool.

Why can’t you just use regular numbers?

When you say regular numbers - do you mean Arabic numerals?

You think you are really funny, don’t you?

I know I am really funny. That is why I am writing a comedy.

Why do you include so many links to stuff?

I like to cite my sources. I feel like it gives you clearer path to the way I think.

If this is an intermission, when is the next Rembis Report?

No idea. I will be too busy writing and producing Low Budget. I will however, be available through email [email protected], and I may occasionally drop an essay at random if something strikes me. Might be a few months, or a few years, but there is nothing on the calendar at this time.

Do you have a personal favorite Rembis Report?

Not really, I think each one is pretty much a masterpiece, so it is hard to choose.

WOW!

I know right?

In case you are not aware, email newsletters like this one include analytics, the wonderful ability to know who opens them. Whether or not they are fully read is another thing, but to the many of you, who take the time to open every single one, I must say an extra special Thank You So Very Much! It means the world to me. Do not be surprised if I send a personal email to you in the coming weeks.

It is a lot of fun tooting my own horn and I appreciate the opportunity to be heard. I know there are other things you could read or watch or do instead of finding out what I have to say. So, again, I am humbled, and I do want to know what you have to share, too. Please send me your updates, links to your work, whatever you would care to boast. I would love to see it.

Why is this important to you?

I want my audience to know that my concern is reciprocal. It is not really all about me. The Rembis Report is my way of contributing to a greater digital community. It is fun to poke fun at myself, being a clownish caricature, and the butt of my own jokes, but I also like knowing what everyone else is up to. I am always happy to cheer you on.

Do you worry that your confidence comes across as smug narcissism?

No. My confidence outweighs that because I know I am just trying to be funny. Anyone who hasn’t got the joke yet stopped reading long ago.

You cover a lot of subjects. What makes you an authority?

I am by no means an authority. I have a perspective. Everyone has a viewpoint, and I like to think that mine is unique enough, that when I craft it into something informative it has entertainment value.

Entertainment is what I do best. The writing may not be perfect, delivery a bit off key, hair and makeup completely botched, and the audience may peer at me askance, but know that my attempts to deliver a fine performance are genuine.

I just want to make it clear that when I say I am going to do something I do it. When I said I would create a film festival, I did. When I said I would write over a hundred essays in two years, I did. When I say I am going to produce a TV show, I am going to produce a TV show, because I finish what I start. I look forward to the next step of this journey and sharing it with you.

I hope you will enjoy what is next because I love making you laugh.

Take care, and thanks for reading!

If you are new to the Rembis Report and would like to read any of the previous issues, PLEASE CLICK HERE to access the archives. To read it from the beginning, PLEASE GET A COPY of The Rembis Report: An Observation.

One last thing - I nearly forgot. Those who only open the emails and don’t click the archive link above may have never seen the accompanying pictures I use as the masthead for each report. I choose a new image for every edition. It may be my own photography, art I own, like from today’s issue (my book cover), or something carefully procured from the internet to set the tone of the essay. To see the complete gallery please visit my Instagram page.